Current Mood:

I’ve got a few containers of sushi in the fridge. One or two of them are california rolls and the others are some spicey ones with smoked salmon or tuna. I can’t remember. They taste alright and the spice isn’t too hot. The one thing I don’t like about the california rolls are that they are made with imitation tuna (a blend of pollock and some fillers). I’m about to go eat and then try and get some cleaning done while Karina’s asleep. I just thought I’d post this video. There is a new category I put up called “LOL!” so that’s where all the funny stuff will be.

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We ordered our monitors today from TigerDirect. I expected to get a 17″-19″ but boy was I in for a surprise! He ordered a 22″ widescreen HD Monitor. The specs are awesome!

I got new toys too! I’m not into like, those cheap play toys from the local sex shop. I’m a serious lifestyler so velcro wrist straps and unlockable play collars don’t work for me. It’s gotta be high quality rubber (or neoprene), steel, and leather. I cannot get into it if there’s going to be cheap fur lined cuffs or just low quality mass produced toys that every other whore on the block has. Yes, I have fully acknowledged the fact that I am spoiled. I used to disagree, but after today and being told that many times, it is starting to sink in. I am spoiled and I love it! Who wouldn’t?? Now, I normally don’t ask for things I know I don’t deserve. I don’t ask for much either. Maybe basic things. So when I do get spoiled, it’s not an all the time thing. Another thing I am admitting to that I wouldn’t have in the past. I’m a brat. I’m his brat, and he loves it. Before he left for work this morning I was talking about the monitor size and how awesome it’s going to look playing games on it, he looks down at me and says “My little spoiled brat”. I hugged his waist as I sat on the bed in front of him and smiled with my check pressed to him. So anyways, I wasn’t exactly sure what he ordered but so far I know that he ordered a necklace for himself which holds a key pendant that unlocks my collar. He also ordered the lead for me so that he can grab at me quickly with one finger. He loves the idea of just curling his finger around the lead and yanking me to him. As for the other things, lol. He’s been wanting to get one of those “Cloan a *****” kits so that he can do both at the same time. Yes… two of hims in me :D I am going to be SO fucking spoiled! The rest, I don’t know because it’s a surprise. Of course I could snoop his email and see what he ordered, but it’s not right and I want to be surprised. I jokingly asked him for a violet wand, to which I replied with “Just kidding!” because I know I am a little unsure of how painful it would be and he is unsure how to operate them.

This Sunday is SuperBowl time!! We are cooking at the house and having some friends over. He’s making hot wings and I’m making mixed drinks. My dad is bringing over a pork butt or something. I forgot what he said it was, lol. I hope it doesn’t rain because then the kids will have to stay inside :/

Speaking of the kids… my daughter got all A’s on her progress report this Wednesday. I think she’s gotten all A’s on both her report cards and progress reports for the year. My godson got all A’s and one B. He’s been doing SO well this year and I’m so proud of him. He may have a little wild streak in him but when it’s time to do his work and get those good grades, he really works hard. Him and Jaden both have behavior problems. With Jaden, it’s always her self control and talking that she has problems with. Overall her grades are so good that I can’t harp on her behavior for the most part. I try to encourage her and keep her motivated and excited about school.

I’m supposed to get the “visible” areas of the house cleaned up today. That means the living room needs to be tidy, the kitchen needs a nice cleaning all over and so does the bathroom. I’m also supposed to be shopping online for a workspace solution for our room but I’m coming to a full stop. I’ve checked almost everywhere but haven’t found anything yet. I even thought about having a room separator but I’m worried that it’s not private enough :/ If we only had a few thousand more saved up we could really have some awesome work done, like an addition to our bathroom or bedroom space. Well, I’m going to keep looking up some more things on a few websites. It’s raining and thundering outside and it’s sooo nice!

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Current Mood:

Yesterday, I think we finally finished tweaking the specs on the computers we’re building. I’ve been looking around for the last couple of weeks and this one seems to be the best build. Specs, these 5 letters determine everything! Here are the specs of what I’ve got so far. These are just for the guts, casing, mouse, keyboard and sound system. Oh, and you can skip all of this if you have no idea about comps:

Case: Apevia X-SniperG Mid-Tower Case [+31] (Blue Color)
Internal USB Extension Module: None
Neon Light Upgrade: None
Extra Case Fan Upgrade: Default case fans
Noise Reduction Technology: Sound Absorbing Foam on Side, Top And Bottom panels [+29]
Power Supply Gasket [+5]
Anti-Vibration Fan Mounts [+9]
Power Supply Upgrade: 600 Watts Power Supplies [+26] (XtremeGear SLI/CrossFireX Ready Power Supply)
CPU: AMD Athlon™II X4 630 Quad-Core CPU w/ HyperTransport Technology [+40]
Cooling Fan: Asetek LCLC 120 Liquid Cooling System 120MM Radiator & Fan (Extreme Cooling Performance + Extreme Silent at 20dBA)
Motherboard: *GigaByte GA-MA785GMT-UD2H AMD 785G Chipset Support DDR3 Ultra Durable™3 mATX Mainboard w/ 7.1 HD Audio, GbLAN, USB2.0, HDMI, SATA-II, RAID, 1 Gen2 PCIe, 1 PCIe X1 & 2 PCI [+14]
Memory: 4GB (2GBx2) DDR3/1600MHz Dual Channel Memory Module [+19] (A-Data Gaming Series with Heat Spreader [+19])
Freebies: None
Video Card: NVIDIA GeForce 9800 GT 1GB 16X PCI Express [+115] (Major Brand Powered by NVIDIA)
Video Card 2: None
Video Card 3: None
Dedicated PHYSX Card: None
Free Game: FREE GAME – Street Fighters IV
Multiple Video Card Settings: Non-SLI/Non-CrossFireX Mode Supports Multiple Monitors
LCD Monitor: None
2nd Monitor: None
Hard Drive: Single Hard Drive (500GB SATA-II 3.0Gb/s 16MB Cache 7200RPM HDD [+10])
Data Hard Drive: None
Hard Drive Cooling Fan: None
USB Portable Drive: None
Optical Drive: Sony 20X Double Layer Dual Format DVD+-R/+-RW + CD-R/RW Drive [+2] (BLACK COLOR)
Optical Drive 2: None [-16]
Sound: HIGH DEFINITION ON-BOARD 7.1 AUDIO
Speakers: 600Watts PMPO Subwoofer Stereo Speakers
Network: Intel Pro Gigabite 10/100/1000 Network Card [+34]
Modem: None
Mega Notebook/Netbook/Server Bundle: None
Keyboard: Razer Lycosa Black USB Gaming Keyboard [+63]
Mouse: Razer Orochi Bluetooth Laser 2000 DPI Gaming Mouse [+64]
Gaming Gear: None
Extra Thermal Display: None
Wireless 802.11B/G Network Card: None
External Wireless Network Card: None
Wireless 802.11 B/G/N Access Point: None
Bluetooth: None
Flash Media Reader/Writer: None
Video Camera: None
Headset: None
Printer: None
Printer Cable: None
Power Protection: None
IEEE1394 Card: None
USB Port: Built-in USB 2.0 Ports
Floppy: None
Operating System: Microsoft® Windows® 7 Home Premium (64-bit Edition)
Media Center Remote Control & TV Tuner: None
Office Suite: Free 60 Days Microsoft® Office® 2007 (Words, Excel, Access, Power Point, Outlook + More) – Microsoft Windows OS Required
Ultra Care Option: None
Service: STANDARD WARRANTY: 3-YEAR LIMITED WARRANTY PLUS LIFE-TIME TECHNICAL SUPPORT
Rush Service: NO; READY TO SHIP IN 5~10 BUSINESS DAYS

The total is $999 before rebates (if there are any).  We picked out monitors, so the total including the monitor and webcam will be about $1200.  D’s computer is about the same price because our specs are so similar.  It would have been maybe 100 cheaper but I wanted to make sure everything was for gaming and that I had a nice sound proof tower so I paid extra for that.  I figured if we were going to have to monsters on one desk in our room that will probably end up being on all night, they needed to be free of noise and rattles.  I don’t think I over clocked it so I don’t need extra fans, although there was a free liquid cooling upgrade.  Now, enough with the specs and onto the pics!

The Keyboard is a gaming keyboard from Razerzone.

Here are the specs on that:

	Keytop with non-slip rubber finish With its non-slip rubber finish, the Razer Lycosa offers optimum tactile comfort and makes slipping up in the heat of action a thing of the past
	Backlight Illumination with WASD cluster lighting option Make darkness your ally. While your enemies fiddle in the shadows, command precision and take hold of their fate with backlight illumination on the Razer Lycosa. With the right keys lit up, you can always be sure of your next move.
	Fully-programmable keys with macro capability Be one step ahead of the competition with fully-programmable keys with macro capability that enable instantaneous command executions.

And finally, the mouse, from the makers of the keyboard above.

The mouse has awesome specs and an amazing dpi (sensitivity to movement)

	Bluetooth 2.0 Connectivity With built-in Bluetooth compatibility with most laptops, the Razer Orochi offers gamers on the go hassle-free wireless convenience.
	Dual Mode Wired/Wireless Functionality With a wired mode option, the Razer Orochi delivers gaming grade precision, control and accuracy
	Razer Precision™ 3G Laser Sensor The Razer Orochi reigns supreme with its 4000dpi 3G Laser sensor, which enables movement speeds of 5 times that of standard 800dpi optical sensors.

I cannot wait to get this home and start playing with it :D  I absolutely love the colors too!  D’s is metal also but his is black and red.  I love red, but for the techie side of me, the blue is just so futuristic looking.

In other news, I finally got on Skype.  It’s not all that.  It isn’t any nicer looking that using my regular cam on Trillian, which has more cam effects and quality options, but whatever.  My mom and everybody seems to love and rave over it.  Pfft!

Also, if you play Second Life, you may be familiar with Torley Lindan.  He has so many tutorials and fun videos on YouTube.  Today I found this awesome video of him.  I can’t find the original video or any HQ Wu-Tang videos.  I remember back in middle school till about 18 or 19.  Wu-Tang/Killa Army all that good stuff…  It was ALL we listened to.  Until Timbaland and Luda came out :P  Then we rocked that Phat Rabbit for months!  It was like, the get fucked up/party song back then.  Now, onto Torleys Video!

Torley, you rocked that shit!

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Current Mood:

Right now I’m crunching on my peanut M&M’s. They are so good! Last night, we looked at some really nice wedding bands. I’m pretty sure we’re going to order a titanim, steel or combo of both. I found a site that had 171 rings for dirt cheap. I know most people like platinum, white gold or gold for a wedding ring, but we’ve always been different and big into steel. The titanium is heavy but I like heavy things and it’s also more durable as far as getting scratched, dropped, or whatever else might happen to it. Also, for the price, I wouldn’t freak out if either of us lost it, as opposed to loosing something that costs a few hundred or more. I’m not really big into diamonds. Although I haven’t really owned anything more than a 1/4 ct. so I can’t say much about expensive jewelry. I’m not even sure what appeals to me so much about steel. I guess it could be the fact that we don’t have thousands of dollars to spend on a platinum ring with 1 or 2 ct. diamonds that would probably get ruined or lost.

Mk, so I’ve been having trouble getting motivated and I’ve been having really bad anxiety attacks lately :/ so that doesn’t help. I seriously come to the conclusion that xannies don’t get me there fast enough… to an emotionally stable state. I would go green, but the price went up and he doesn’t downsize if you know what I mean. I’ve got a friend that would go half with me but I don’t pay $60 for something I just do occasionally. It was really bad earlier this week and especially on Wednesday night I was a mess. I was literally texting D and he just wasn’t understanding what I was going through. I don’t think anyone really could. It seems that when I’m in my moments of despair and anger, those are times when I can’t reach out and talk about it to anyone. If I do, they don’t get it. Usually I just get really angry… not necessarily violent or harmful towards other people. I just like to break things. Hearing things break, like glass crunching, shattering, etc. It’s sort of like when cutters cut, it releases endorphins. That’s what breaking shit does for me, releases anger. It also exhausts me too. I am almost in an attempt to cut out most of what I just typed, but hey… that’s the real me and I wouldn’t be me if I cut and pasted things they way I want you to see it. I want to share the real me. Maybe someone deals with problems like me. I don’t know, but there really is no need to have a blog but hide who I am.

Now, speaking of getting motivated, I’m sure that doesn’t mean go grab another frapp, drink it and still do nothing. I usually use music to get me going, but all my kids really beg for is Black Eyed Peas and I’m kinda tired of that after having it blasted in the house ALL summer long. They don’t like my music because they don’t get the screaming. My oldest likes “Bedrock” when it’s on the radio but really I don’t like her listening to even the clean versions of stuff like that. It’s too insinuating, even for a 7 year old. She either understands the lyrics or if she doesn’t, she’ll ask what it means and I don’t need to have to explain that, or have her sing that around anyone.

So things to work on this week for me, are motivation and consistency. And for D, consistency with me. I need that more than anything or else I just go mindless and do whatever the fuck I want. I’m noticing a similar pattern in this post and posts from my past. Hmm… either my life is becoming unnoticeably boring and needs change, or… my life is unnoticeably boring and needs change :D

Last night I stayed up till around 1 or something, talking with Ryan. I’m so proud of him. He can really work my nerves but I really am proud of him for doing well in his classes. I was mad and told him not to text me on Thursday. I didn’t want him to contact me because of some things he said that I didn’t like. Then after a day and a half, I told him to talk to me because I get worried when I don’t hear from him for more than a day or 2.

OOOOH, there’s beer in the fridge! Anyway, I get to look foward to cleaning the computer desk, kitchen and folding allll the laundry. If I took a picture of it, lol, you would see why I’m overwhelmed with it and stalling and typing any shit I can think of.

Oh, and one more thing before I go. I got a new hostee who’s in the process of moving in. She’s my old affie from years ago when I had Graphic Heart. Her names Jules and she owns http://girlyglitters.co.uk. Check her site out for awesome glittery graphics!

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Current Mood:

It’s time to let the past go. That damn saying “It is what it is” comes to mind. I recently talked about my talk with Keri, as well as my friends request from him. Well, I logged on today and he wasn’t on my friends list at all. There is so much going on in my head now. What I really think on that, is that, had this been last year, I would have been upset. My feelings would have been very hurt. This year, everything’s different. I have a new Owner now. Even though it isn’t M/s. I suppose it’s D/s. I don’t think him and I have discussed this in detail. Anyway, I wasn’t going to drop everything I have now and go crawling back to Keri – which is what I would have done, went crawlingto him, like the unstable thing I used to be. Last year I had some rl problems and sl now, things are so different. I’ve got the most wonderful Owner who I feel I can be me around. I’ve never had to change my looks do something that upset me rl, to suit his needs. He met me at my rawest, angriest, most lost forms I could be in. He didn’t judge… he listened and well, you wouldn’t understand. I’m not angry anymore to say the least :D

When my sl Owner and I met, he said that I should be warned that he is arrogant and cocky, to which I replied “As am I”. I didn’t think I’d end up being in a sort of D/s anything with him, but it’s been months under him and nothings changed. Most girls end up getting irritated with an asshole or somehow it causes them to be bitchy or something. I, on the other hand, love the “assholeness”, “arrogance” and “cockyness”. Guys used to say I was cocky, and I laughed about it. There is something about assholeness that I like. I don’t know if he’ll ever come across this post or anything I’ve ever said, but my thoughts on him are not private. :D He is so hmmmm. pleasing to the eyes rl :P Speaking of rl, we talk there more than sl because I’m not on when he’s on. My internets been off. The new company is coming to installour service today between 1:00 and 5:00. After we get a stable connection I can finish building the new comp. I’m torn between brands, still. The one I built yesterday had custom everything, color, cooling fan, erething. When I totaled it up, the price was over $1,400 which is a few hundred too much. After I get one I’m going to buy Trillian Pro:D Speaking of Trillian, the app I wanted isn’t free. It’s $4.99. I’m still getting it though.

Valentines Day is 2 weeks away! We don’t usually have any special romantic day planned out. Romance <- LOL. ZOMG!! The husband wants to buy new wedding bands! Of course I told him no. Not that I don't want people to know that I'm married. I don't give a fuck. It's just that, I don't even wear the jewelry I have now. I got a watch for Christmas that I haven't even worn much. I don't want jewelry. He talked about just getting a white gold band for himself to wear (I'll wear it if it's in a set, but not 24/7). He said "Well you already have your... "(stops to glance at my collar). I'm sure he meant that I wear my version of the wedding band on my neck sort of. Well it's sort of like one :P only heavy as shit! I want another one but he said we'll go out on Sunday and search for a pendant for it. I would love an anhk, cross, heart, tag or anything with symbolism. Well, I've gotta vaccum. The internet/cable persons coming soon.

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